The New Transportation Security Administration

Everyone knows that the TSA is a parasitic band of thugs, but if you point it out, the terrirists(sic) will win!

To clarify its mission to a confused and bewildered public, the TSA has unveiled a rebranding effort that should appease the mobs of outraged citizens that dare point out that the emperor is as naked as if he lived inside a Rapescan(sic) machine.

The new TSA emblem and mascot:

Pedobear works for the TSA!

The new official TSA motto will be:

We give hand-jobs to the world.

And will be accompanied by a series of new slogans:

The Department of Homeland Security has also published a very informational book to help educate small children about the essential importance of the agency’s mission:

My First Cavity Search book by the Department of Homeland Security


The TSA offers you choice:

TSA choice: Molestation or Radiation

Clearly, our attempt to make air travel so annoying that the terrorists won't use it has failed

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